


internal battles (Various/Reader)

by dumb_hoe_disease



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Everyone Needs A Hug, Multi, One Ending, Reader is a mood, Reader is bisexual, Reader-Insert, Reverse Harem, Slow To Update, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, we sad in the club
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 23:00:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30113352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumb_hoe_disease/pseuds/dumb_hoe_disease
Summary: Y/N just wants to be given hope after her life crumbled, but maybe good and bad aren't so easy to define.I don't own attack on titan
Relationships: Jean Kirstein/Reader, Levi Ackerman/Reader, Marco Bott & Reader, Reiner Braun/Reader, Sasha Blouse & Reader, Various/Reader
Kudos: 3





	internal battles (Various/Reader)

I aged everyone in the 104th a year.

"Y/N!" Sasha tried to wake up her roommate. Since arriving at the training j camp, Sasha's only priority was food. Meaning she tries her best to get there first at every meal, far too early for Y/N. 

Y/N finally yawned, rising out of bed and stretching her arms over her head. "Why did you wake me up so early?" 

"Food, I'm hungry, and we aren't gonna get food if you sleep in." Sasha was pacing the floor. 

"Sash, I'm not getting breakfast. I have to meet Hange at 7 to go over my class courses I'm finishing." Y/N true passion was fighting. She loved it. She loved having that little control over something in her life. She wanted to be a part of the scouts once she graduated. Not just a scout, Y/N wanted to be a leader. So she came up with a way to do that, a plan that would ensure she would become a captain one day. She took medical classes, ones that taught her how to take care of wounded scouts. She worked with Hange to examine the injuries caused by titans and Dr.Brendilum for how to treat them. To do this, she had to get up earlier and stay later than all the other cadets. 

"Awe, I don't want to go alone. Can't you just come with me?" Y/N sighed, reluctantly removing the blankets wrapped around her. She wore a simple nightgown to sleep in, something she definitely couldn't wear to breakfast. She pulled the nightgown over her head, leaving her in just boyshorts. Sasha knew her changing was a silent agreement, jumping from foot to foot in anticipation. Y/N pulled a long sleeve shirt over her head and a pair of loose pants on. "Okay, let's go. I only have 30 minutes."  
She and Sasha had formed I tight bond over the past years of being at the camp. They balanced one another. Both liked food an unhealthy amount, and both did not know when to shut up. 

The two girls made their way down to the cafeteria. Jean and Eren were fighting as they did most days, Mikasa trying her best to break it up. Connie and Marco were off to the side, betting on who would be more beat up. Sasha parted with the other girl, heading to the food line. Y/N decided to make her way over to the boys fighting. "Hey Eren, I know you're kind of busy right now, but I thought you should know your zipper's down." Eren looked down to see his zipper was up, but it had caught him by such surprise that it allowed Jean the upper hand. Jean now had Eren pinned to the dirty floor, "Wait, that's not fair. She distracted me."

"Eren, life isn't fair. You should know that more than anyone. I mean, where's your mom again?" She knew it was a low blow, but mornings didn't make her the kindest person. Especially not to Eren. It wasn't that Y/N hated Eren. She just believed that he only focused on himself. She saw him as selfish, self-centered. He recklessly went headfirst into things, relying on Armin and Mikasa to fix it after. 

Mikasa had successfully broken up the fight, forcing Jean to return to his spot next to Marco. Her glare set on the back of Y/N's head, making no effort to stop a fuming Eren. Eren stomped his way over to Y/N, grabbed the collar of her shirt, bringing her face closer to his. Jean was already making his way over to defend her, but Mikasa grabbed his arm."How dare you speak to me like that. Who the hell do you think you are?" 

Y/N brought a hand up to wipe away the spit on her face, "I don't think I'm anyone. It's you who thinks everyone's lives revolve around him. Well, you're not fucking special. None of us are. That's why we are all going to die if you don't get over your god complex." Eren was shocked. Everyone was. Well, almost everyone. Ymir was laughing so loud it caught the attention of the other groups around them. Poor Krista was trying her best to get her to stop, but it was too late. Almost all the cadets in the food hall were looking at them. The commotion got Reiner's attention, causing the tallboy to walk over to the two. "Eren, let go of her." The blonde boy pulled the smaller one's hands off the girl's shirt. After she was out of his grasp, Reiner pulled her off to the side. "Why would you say that to him. We all know he's unstable."

"Reiner, someone has to say it. He thinks he's invincible, and it's going to get us all killed." Reiner's hand brought the hair dangling in her face to behind her ear. He had only told Bertholdt about his feelings towards Y/N, but all of their friends knew."Well, he's going to kill you if you keep this up." 

"I'd like to see him try." She lightly pushed his hand away from her face. "I wouldn't. You got one hell of a potential. Everyone can see it, even shitface Eren." A blush tinted her cheeks as she looked down. "I'm not a good fighter like you." His hand found its way to her head. "Yeah, well, you would beat me any day when it comes to logic. Great fighters are good, but what are they if they die from wounds. You will be needed, much more than I will be." 

"Y/N, you were supposed to meet me 20 minutes ago." Hange stood arms crossed with a scowl. She never seriously got angry. Hange herself had forgotten about it until she saw the girl. "I guess that's okay. You can make it up to me. I was supposed to clean Levi's office, so you'll do it instead. His office is three buildings away from my pop-up lab. We'll meet tonight instead." The girl nodded, giving both of them a wave before heading to Levi's office. 

She had met Levi once before. It was one of the long nights she spent helping Hange. Hange had been going to brew some tea when Levi entered her lab. He saw the smaller girl and figured it was the one Hange had recruited to work in exchange for classes. He had thought it was a stupid idea, but Hange never missed an opportunity to have assistance with her titians.

"I presume Hange isn't here right now." The short man seemed to still tower over the small girl. Metaphorically at least, he was less than an inch taller in reality. 

"Yes, sir, she just went to fetch us some tea." Levi made a tch sound before walking around the desk to where Y/N was working. She could feel his hot breath on her neck, forcing her to lower her head even more to hide the faint blush. "She should be back in a minute." The older man didn't say a word, observing her notes over her shoulder. Her handwriting was somewhat neat, but her writing was all over the place. He knew just by looking at her journal she was disorganized. He averted his gaze to the back of her neck, fully exposed from the bun she had in her hair. Little bumps had raised on her skin; because the room was not even remotely cold, he knew it was his doing. Levi knew the effect he had on women. Whether he chopped it up to lust or fear didn't matter. What he found in these experiences is he had control. 

"You are apart of the 104th, no?" Levi knew the answer. He just wanted to lure information out of her. "Yes, I'm one of the cadets."

"You look somewhat old to be a part of the cadets." She gave him an odd look. "I'm 18, but there are those who are older than I am." She never considered herself to look old for her age, so this comment somewhat struck her interest. "How old are you, Captain?"

"Now that isn't a question you ask a superlative." He could tell she was already going to be fun from the way she side-eyed him. She had some fire to her, somewhat reminding him of Erwin. Someone who would take his shit but hate doing it.   
"Although, I suppose I could indulge your curiosity. I'm 35." 

"That's pretty old." Levi was taken aback by her response. He decided he no longer saw it as a fire but rather annoying disobedience. Levi hated disobedience. "That's rude. Who taught you to speak to adults that way?"

"Captain, with all due respect, I am an adult." Although she thought the man was insanely attractive, talking down to her was out of the question. "Frankly, I didn't find my comment to be rude. Maybe you took it the wrong way." Levi's temper was increasing with each of her words, his fingernails now digging into his palm. "How would I misinterpret that? It seems pretty straightforward." 

"You're old in standards of scouts." Levi rolled his eyes, retreating towards the door. He wasn't enjoying this little game anymore. "Well, I'll meet with Hange later. Tell her I stopped by Brat." With that, he left. 

Now Y/N stood in front of the Captain's office, hand hesitantly knocking. "State your name and business." Levi's rough voice sounded irritated. "Um, I'm cadet L/N. I'm here to clean your office." 

The door opened to reveal the Commander at the doorway, Levi at his desk. "Levi, why are you having a poor cadet clean for you?" Erwin ushered the small girl inside. His hand lingered on her lower back as he shut the door. "It was supposed to be Hange. She recked it last night looking for a letter. Why did she send you?"

The girl looked down at her feet, her hands fidgeting. "I was late to my meeting with her, so she told me to come in her place." Erwin's smile grew as he looked down at the smaller girl. "Well, I don't see a need for you to do so. Are you the young cadet that is practicing medicine?" 

"Yes, Commander. I graduate next month with the rest of the cadets." The Commander nodded. He saw something in her, something he didn't want to taint with war. He knew it was selfish to take dreams from the child, to preserve her when it wasn't her choice. However, part of him wanted so badly to band her from the training program. Erwin didn't mean this in a perverted way. He had no interest in someone so young, no interest in anyone for that matter. He knew his death would come relatively young, and he didn't want to leave a widow."Well, I've heard you are incredibly bright." 

"I would say I am intelligent but not like one of my other cadets. I want to have more of a purpose than simply just fighting. You'll need someone on the front lines, someone who can help immediately as well as fight. That could determine the lives of many scouts." She did want to help in any way she could. In a way, she had always felt useless, mediocre at best. She wasn't a strong fighter like Reiner, and she wasn't anywhere near as cunning as Armin. Although, for some reason, she always had a knack for medicine. "I see your point, but you must realize the weight of your actions. There will be no way to save everyone, and you have to come to terms with that. I think it would be good for you to study under Levi's squad for the time being. Once you graduate, if Levi sees you fit, you may join his squad." Erwin turned his toned back to the girl looking directly at Levi. The shorter man didn't particularly like the idea of babysitting the girl. "Levi, introduce her to the rest of the squad, as well as Miche's squad. Report to me each week until her graduation." His back soon became his front once again, and he patted the girl's head. "I think this could be a great opportunity. I know you won't let us down." With that, the Commander left Levi and Y/N alone. 

"Great, another charity project I have to deal with." She rolled her eyes at his comment. She never expected courtesy from the Captain. "Meet me after lunch at the stables. Do not worry. I will inform your instructors. If that is all, you may leave." Y/N just nodded her head, retreating to the food hall. Only having 30 minutes remaining for her to eat.

Not many people were left when she got there. Although mostly deserted, Sasha, Connie, and Jean sat at a table alone. Y/N took a seat next to Jean, tiredly resting her head on his shoulder. She would be lying if she said she didn't hate him at first. Slowly they became friends, primarily through Marco. However, Jean being incredibly hot did help her grow to enjoy his company. Nothing would ever happen between the two. She knew about his crush on Mikasa, and there was no competition, even if Mikasa was in love with Eren. Jean's arm wrapped itself around her shoulders. "Hey, how was the Scout's Captain? Honestly, I didn't even know he had an office here." Jean's eyes lingered on her as she pushed her head farther into his neck. "It was fine. He doesn't have an office here. The Commander and Captain came to the camp because of graduation next month. His "office" is a supply shed" A breathy laugh shook the both of them. In a world so consumed by evil, the small group of friends found sanctuary in each other's presence. 

It was 10 minutes before the next round of exercises. Some kid had passed out from dehydration, so everyone got a break. "Marco." Y/N became friends with him the first month they had got there. She found his presence to be calming. They would talk for hours, and he was the only one who knew about her feelings towards Jean. 

"I didn't see you with the rest of the group when I got back. Is everything okay?" Marco turned to the girl in front of him. They had matching freckles, which was why they became friends in the first place. "Yeah, I'm fine, I just had to speak to the messenger. What about you? That fight between you and Eren looked pretty intense." The pair gazed across the field to where Eren and his friends were talking. 

Marco held back a chuckle as he saw Y/N snarl at him. "I just thought someone should tell him." The boy's larger hand came up to ruffle her hair."Yeah but that comment about his mom. That was pretty harsh. She was Mikasa's mom too." Y/N wasn't one to hold a grudge, despite how her actions may have looked. Although she didn't understand why Mikasa chased Eren around, she still liked the girl. As for Eren, she had many reasons to not like him. Ones that surpassed him having a superiority complex. 

"Yeah, you're right. I'll talk to her later." She could feel Marco's side-eye "I'll also apologize to Eren, but only for the comment about his mom." The freckled boy picked her up in his arms, swinging her as they both laughed. "See, there's the Y/N I know and love." To people on the outside looking in, they would assume the two were a couple. However, what the pair felt for each other was pure love platonically. She sometimes felt like she had found her platonic soulmate. She and Sasha were close, but there was an unspoken understanding between the two. 

"Jean, I couldn't tell if it was you or Nanami." Marco had now lowered her to the ground where Jean had run over. "Who fucking names their horse anyway. Especially something like Nanami." Y/N raised to her tiptoes, pinching both of his cheeks. "Awe, but if we didn't name horses, you wouldn't have a name, Jean." He swiped her away as she and Marco laughed at her joke. "No, but seriously why Nanami?" 

"He's a character from a work of fiction I like. Plus, he's super hot, like dilf kind of hot." Marco spits his water out at the last sentence. (Okay, if they use shit and stuff, I'm certain at least once someone has said dilf before.) "What does that even mean?" Y/N simply just patted his head instead of answering. "I'll explain it to you when you're older Jeany boy." 

"Cadets fall into the circle. I'm explaining the next exercise." And just like that, their break was over.

By lunch, all the cadets were sweaty messes and starving. Y/N and Sasha had already gotten their food. They had somehow managed to sneak out of the last 10 minutes. Probably, atoned to the sheer luck of Jean and Eren going at it once again. It didn't matter how the two had come to this great fortune. All that mattered was the fact that for the first time in weeks, their food was hot. Jean and Marco sat down on either side of Y/N as Connie sat next to Sasha. Jean glared at the two girls, one eye a little swollen from his brawl with Yeager. "I see you two were exceptionally early today." Y/N shoved more food into her mouth. "Jean, we both know I can outrun you." Gravy spilled from the sides of her mouth due to her talking with her mouth open. Jeans thumb wiped it from her lips, making everyone at the table's eyes grow wide. "You eat like a pig." A blush had formed on her cheeks from his actions. "At least I don't look like one." It was a sorry attempt of a comeback. "I already look like a horse. I can't be both." Cheeks still filled with food, she grinned at him. "Sorry, Jean, that's how it is. You're a freak of nature." Jean pushed her into Marco, earning a hey from the boy. "You really should learn to eat with your mouth closed. You're starting to pick up some of Sasha's bad habits." Sasha didn't even stop shoveling food into her mouth. She opted to kick his shin instead.   
"Ow, okay, sorry, Sash didn't know you were that sensitive about your eating habits." 

"Oh shit, wait, what time is it? I have to be at the stables by 1." Everyone at the table just shrugged their shoulders. "Okay, well, I better go." She pushed her half-eaten plate over to Sasha, kissing Marco's head before jogging off. 

By the time she got to the stables, Levi was leaning against one. "You're late." Levi looked up from the ground. "And disgusting, go take a shower. You have 10 minutes, or I'm leaving you and telling Erwin you aren't ready to graduate." Y/N ran to the communal showers stripping down quickly. She washed the sweat from her hair and off her body using the little soap provided. Y/N turned off the water, wrapping a towel around her. She hurried out the door to her cabin to grab clean clothes. Right as she was about to get to her door, she bumped into someone. It almost caused her towel to drop, but her reflexes were quick enough to grab it. Once she regained her composure, she looked up to see who it was. There stood Eren with a bright red face. "Um... I'm sorry to bump into you. I don't see anything, by the way." The whole time he was spouting out his apology, he was staring directly at her chest. "It's fine. Also, sorry for the comment about your mom." Eren just nodded, eyes still focused on the low-hanging towel. Y/N rolled her eyes, going around the boy. "Okay, well, as fun as this was, I have to go." Y/N pushed her way into the room, changing as fast as possible. 

She was relieved to see Levi still waiting for her. "You took a minute longer. Next time I'll leave you." Y/N tied back her still damp hair as she walked to where Levi was. He untied her horse, handing it to her as he retrieved his. Most cadets were not given a horse, but she was required to travel often for classes. This also caused many of the instructors to hate her. They felt like she was ill-prepared by spending this amount of time not training. Which in a way, she assumed they were probably right. In other ways, however, she was more prepared than anyone else. "Wait, Levi, look at that tree. Can we stop just for a second?" Levi turned to look at the younger girl. "No, I've already spent too much time waiting for you to shower." He could hear a whine come from behind him. "Please, Captain, I just want to look at it for a minute." Levi huffed at her persistence. "Fine, one minute." Y/N and Levi hopped off their horses as she rushed over to the tree. Tiny blossoms sprouted all over the limbs, delicate red flowers surrounded by thorns. She had lived inside the walls her whole life. Although she had seen plants for the duration of living there, it was rare that they were this beautiful. Levi's eyes lingered on the small girl as she picked up a flower. He was mesmerized by the way she would appreciate something so small. Levi had lost his appreciation for such things a long time ago. 

They boarded their horses once again, a single flower tucked behind her ear. Within 30-minutes they arrived at a small compound. Tying up their steeds, Levi guided the girl inside. 

Inside stood three men and a woman. The women seemed incredibly excited to meet a fellow girl. They weren't even completely through the door before the redhead threw her arms around Y/N. The younger girl remained unfazed, this was something Sasha would often do. "Who is she? I love her. Can we keep her?"

Levi pulled the girl away. "Petra, this is a cadet who will be shadowing until her graduation next month." The woman's, Y/N assumed was Petra, eyes widen. "Captain, isn't that a little dangerous for a cadet?" The three men had now come forward towards the commotion. "Yeah, that seems a bit brutal for someone not properly trained?" The man who talked was tall with a ponytail. "She won't be fighting Eld. The girl will be watching and then tending to any injuries we may have." Eld just nodded. 

"Hey, why should I let her mend to my wounds. She'll probably just make them worse. Anyway, don't we already have medics." This man looked older than the others, his words just caused Y/N to be angry. "Not medics that can fight, no. She is talented enough in fighting to carry herself, and it'll be helpful to have one there to patch us up at any time. Oluo, I assure you she is a very talented medic, but if you choose to die rather than allow her assistance, I'm sure she would be fine with that." It was the first time she had ever had Levi be kind towards her. His acknowledgment of her skills made her swell with pride. As for Oluo, he just snared at Y/N. 

"So, this cadet is going to join the special operation squad?" The last man asked. Levi's frustration was showing as he rubbed his temples. "For the last time, no. She is not going to engage in combat, just observe. That is for the next two weeks." Levi turned to Y/N. "As for the training you will miss, Erwin made arrangements. You will continue those in the morning, but after your lunches, you come here. This also means that you are not eligible for the top 10, not that you could qualify anyway." Y/N glared but nodded at the short man. She had no intention of joining the military police. She wanted to make a real difference. 

"Well, It's nice to meet you. I'm Petra. You can treat me like a big sister." And suddenly, with those words, Y/N remembered why she was fighting in the first place. Not unlike Eren, she had her family destroyed years ago. Now she vowed to protect her home and save as many people as possible.


End file.
